20

Not Lieutenant-Colonel Neville Heath

25 November

The topic this week is the crimes of Neville Heath, a con man who murdered Margery Gardner and Doreen Marshall. Joe is being particular about the way Lieutenant is supposed to be pronounced, and lockdown is taking a toll on Sandra.

Joe got his information from:

• Wikipedia
• The Ministry of History
• The photo of Neville Heath Joe is talking about can be found at Dorset Life, as well as the photo of Doreen Marshall.

Sandra got her information from:

• Wikipedia
• The Ministry of History
• Murder UK
• The photo of Margery Gardner can be found at Daily Mail.

Audio transcription

Midweek Murders contains graphic and explicit content, listener discretion is advised.

That's all I had. I've been playing A Hat in Time, it's fun but I'm also shit at it.

Well it'll feel like any other video game you play then. [Laughter]

You bastard!

Savage burn.

And this game is all about jumping and I'm not that good at jumping. Not in real life, not in computer games.

Just spam the buttons like you do with any other game. Hope for the best.

No, you gotta like time it precisely. And not jump too far and not jump too short. And I'm like "aaaaaaaahhhh", fall to my death.

You'd probably enjoy that.

No, I'm scared of heights. I probably wouldn't.

But death!

But death is the ultimate prize!

[Music]

Okay, it's Wednesday which means that it's time to talk about crime. Are you already laughing at me?

You just sounded so defeated, "it's Wednesday... crime... Midweek Murders. You know it, you hear the same thing every week. Let's just get on with it".

Who even knows what day it is.

Well it's not Wednesday. [Laughter]

That's true. Okay, it's Wednesday which means that it's time...

You did it again! I don't know why you're saying Wednesday like it's the hardest thing for you to get across in your life right now. "It's Wednesday. Just listen, okay? It's Wednesday, it's the worst day of the week. It's the hump of the week and not in the good way, all right? It's Wednesday". [Laughter]

Which means that it's time to talk about crime. You're listening to Midweek Murders, and I'm your host Sandra.

And I'm your co-host Joe.

Yeah. This is a very horrific crime, and not a lot of forensic science. Here we go! This week we're going to talk about Neville Heath. I got my information from wikipedia, theministryofhistory.co.uk, and murderuk.com.

I don't remember where I got mine from.

Our sources are gonna be on the website: midweekmurders.netlify.app. There we go, we're almost in it now.

We're almost done, listeners. [Laughter]

You can go on with your fucking life! [Laughter]

Get on with your "Wednesday". [Laughter]

Yeah. Lockdown is getting to us all, I think. So on the 20-furth of June 1946...

20-furth? [Laughter]

The furth. [Laughter] Do you know why? Because I wrote it as: "21th". [Laughter]

It's uh, that's not right.

That's not right. On the 21st of June 1946, a 32 year old trained artist and film extra, Margery Gardner was found dead at the Pambridge Court Hotel in a room registered under the name Lieutenant-Colonel Neville Heath. Although...

It's pronounced Lieutenant.

Oh. What did I say?

Lieutenant.

Oh. Is that the American...

Yes, it is.

My true colors are showing.

And I would appreciate it if you could pronounce our stolen French word in the way we British like to say it.

The 20-furth.

The 20-furth.

Under the name... Say it again.

Lieutenant.

Lieutenant-Colonel Neville Heath. Although Neville Heath was in fact his real name, he was not a Lieutenant...

Was it Heath or was it Heast?

He was a right-tenant.

No. That was weak.

What did I say, Heath?

That was a joke on your 20-furth.

Oh, okay.

Is it Heath or is it Heast. 20-furth, 21st.

I get it, I get it. I thought mine was funnier with the right-tenant.

No, that was weak. Go home.

I am home, we're all home. It's the fucking lockdown.

That's the problem. [Laughter]

He was not a Lieutenant-Colonel, in fact, Neville was a con man. Bam bam baaaaam.

You should edit in some dramatic music there, I think we need to vamp this up to get more listeners.

At age 15, Neville had attempted to rape a girl at a party. Fortunately, he was stopped by the other party-goers as they had heard the girl's cries for help. The girl's father found him the day after but Neville managed to talk him out of going to the police, blaming the incident on a few too many beers. And here I would like to say that if someone tries to rape a girl at a party, the beers are not the issue. He failed his school exams and was forced to take a job at a textile factory. At this point he realized that men in the military had higher status, because that's what he was all about, which was why he decided to join the Air Force. Because being a private, or joining the navy, wasn't what he imagined to be a glamorous lifestyle. As a pilot he changed his accent to try to fit in with the posher crowd and lied about having been to Eton and Oxford. Is Eton like a private school for younger people?

Yeah. It's where all the prime ministers go. Apart from the lady prime ministers, of which we've only had two.

Was that at Eton, where he fucked the pig? Or was that somewhere...

Yes.

Oh god, oh god.

Yeah Cammy boy, we haven't forgotten Cammy.

He was then invited to posh parties (pig fucking parties), which had ultimately been his goal, but then went AWOL...

Do you know what that stands for? It's an acronym.

It's something about without...

That's the W and O.

Yeah. No, I can't remember. I know what it is. I can't remember, what is it?

Absent without leave.

Yes, that is the one. Went absent without leave, as he had been stealing to keep up appearances, to fit in with the posh crowd. After being dismissed from the Air Force, he kept trying to keep up the act of being a man of money. He impersonated a Lord. He also called himself Lord Dudley at some point, I don't know if that's now or later, but Dudley is a funny name to choose.

Is that because you just think of a fat bully?

Yeah, probably. Do you know any Lords?

Do I know any Lords?! It may surprise you to know, no I do not. [Laughter]

I did not realize that that was a stupid question until I'd already said it. Oh. And he impersonated a Lord, and got in trouble when he tried buying an expensive car without having any money. You would say: "how would he even think that that would work?", but I guess in the 1940s you could do whatever you wanted, I don't know. He was tried for this, but got off easy because he smooth talked his way out by claiming to be "a young man in over his head". True story. He kind of went to court, I think, and then they were like: "fine".

Haven't we all gotten out of a lawsuit by just being charming?

"I was just joshing".

"Yeah, it was just fucking a pig, you know. It was just a school dare". [Laughter]

Is that your posh accent? It's hilarious! He did finally get in real trouble after selling stolen jewelry to a pawn broker, and got sentenced to three years in a prison for juveniles.

Borstal.

Yeah. Is that what it's called?

Yeah. Or, as we like to call it now in the 21st century, juvie.

Yeah. I think I saw it being written as barstole, or something like that.

Borstal, not "barstool". [Laughter]

He got sentenced to three years of sitting in the same bar stool. [Laughter]

What a punishment, because bar stools are not comfy.

It'll fuck up your back real good.

Yeah. I'd rather take juvie than bar stool.

He then joined the Royal Army Service Corps, because he tried to get back into the Royal Air Force, they were like: "no". He was like: "all right, I'll guess I'll just be a normal military man then. If I have to".

"A normal military man". [Laughter]

In the beginning of World War II, but was attempted to be shipped home after less than a year due to stealing, again. During which, he escaped the guard.

By throwing a pig at him.

"Fuck this!"

"Oh that's got quite a lot of holes, hasn't it Jimmy? You occupy yourself with that while oneself just, you know, tootle's off down here. Terry bye!"

"Terry bye, toodle do!"

Okay. He escaped the guard. He fled to South Africa, where he pretended to be an aristocrat, and joined the South African Air Force where he eventually was given the rank of Captain.

"Captain!".

"Captain!". They're all coming out today.

Yeah. During his time in the British army he was court-martialed two times, which I already told you about, but I would like to reiterate because the South African Air Force found out about that, but didn't seem to have been that bothered about it at first as Neville, the giant turdboat, talked himself out of that predicament as well.

That wasn't his official title though, was it.

The giant turdboat?

I don't think that's a military rank. [Laughter]

Captain! Yeah. But then he was court-martialed again, because he was wearing medals that wasn't his and also because of undisciplined behavior, which must have been bad.

I'm just gonna point out that it wasn't that he was wearing medals that weren't his, he was wearing medals that weren't his rank.

Oh yeah, oh yeah. I just thought i would simplify it for our...

He's a private in the military and he just stole Jimmy's privates badge. [Laughter]

"Take that, Jimmy!"

"Fuck you, Jimmy! I'm the private now!"

I'm the private now.

Aaaahh. Okay. So he was deported from South Africa. After this, he returned to war ravaged Britain in 1946. Here, he attempted to rape a young woman. Who, after being saved by hotel staff, decided not to press charges as she was afraid of being publicly shamed. Because this was in the 1940s. Only three months later is when he murders Margery. A couple of days before the maid at the hotel had discovered the horrific crime scene, Neville had checked into the hotel with his fiancee, in air quotes, Yvonne Symonds. The day after he brutally assaulted Margery, Neville took a train to meet up with Yvonne again. Yvonne had only known Neville for a week, and as the murder was all over the newspapers at the time Neville came up with a story about being horrified by being at the same hotel as the crime had taken place. He also wrote to the police, as they had publicly announced wanting to speak with him as his name had been on the check-in sheet for the room, I wrote in all caps. Because I wrote this whole thing in a... Not in a rage. But I would say, in like a: "Harry Potter and the Audacity of this Bitch"- mode.

Mhhmm. [Laughter]

He wrote in the letter to the police that he had given his room key to Margery and her male companion, a man named "Jack". Even though Neville and Margery had been seen together the night before, this didn't seem to make Neville believe that he would be suspected, because he was a giant douchecanoe. Do you have any notes about the murder?

Only what condition they found the body in.

Very horrific. I would say: trigger warning.

So like you said, the chambermaid found Margery. She originally couldn't enter the room, so they called the hotel manager who opened the room for them, and found Margery naked in the bed but covered up to her neck with the bed sheets. Once they removed the bed sheets they found that her ankles had been bound, and there were ligation marks on her wrists to show that her wrists had been bound as well. She had 17 lashes across her body that seemed to have been caused by a diamond headed, or shaped, whip of some sort. She had savagely bitten nipples. And an instrument, I didn't manage to find a source that said what the instrument was, had been inserted into her vagina and anus and "savagely ripped" was one description that was given. So pretty brutal.

Yeah.

The pathologist that looked at the case determined her time of death to be between midnight and the early morning hours, and the cause of death was given as suffocation.

Okay, so she was strangled?

Or smothered.

Okay. Didn't a coroner say at this point something along the lines of: "if you find that particular type of whip"?

Yes. Yeah. So he said: "if you find the whip, you find the culprit", basically. That was the main lead and back in the 40s, before forensic science existed, that was the kind of evidence that you could take someone to trial with. If you found the murder weapon, or in this case something so indicative of being used in the crime, it was basically enough for it to go to court and to the jury. So yeah, that's what the coroner said: "if you find the whip, you find the culprit".

Yeah. I have a question later about that as well. Okay. So after meeting up with his fiancee, and writing a letter to the police about Margery that would no doubt clear him of any suspicion, and there I wrote: "sarcasm", Neville traveled to Bournemouth. Here, he checked into the Tollard Royal Hotel under the name Rupert Brook. I read somewhere, in one of the two sources I mentioned, or three, that Rupert Brook was like a poet or something? That had written about Bournemouth?

He was definitely a poet.

Okay.

I don't know if he wrote about Bournemouth.

Maybe he was from there, I don't know. I just found it a bit stupid to use a name that was a famous name.

He took the E off of the end of Brook. He was probably fine in terms of being identified because they would have just seen the name and been like: "well it can't be the famous poet because there's no E on his name. So it must just be another guy named Rupert Brook".

He was like: "let's just take the E off! Oh, bamboozled!".

Just reiterates his level of cunning, this guy.

Yeah, of course. Yeah, a genius.

He's the psychopath of psychopaths, really. Which is genuinely how he's been described.

It's crazy though, because he was fucking stupid.

Yeah, but he was also a psychopath.

Yeah. And also in the 1940s, I guess you could get away with all kinds of shit.

Oh yeah. No internet back then, they'd have had to go to the library. [Laughter]

Oh yeah.

Like: "Rupert Brook, I recognize that name", traipse all the way to the library: "ah, no. See? Different name. Rupert Brooke the poet's got an E on the end, can't be the same guy".

So he met a woman in Bournemouth named Doreen Marshall, who was a 21 year old member of the women's Royal Navy Service and had served during World War II. Doreen had gone to Bournemouth to recover from the flu. They met, and he introduced himself as a fellow army man. Which he kind of was, I'm guessing.

Military man.

Military man, yeah. He probably put one or two extra, you know, ranks there.

Colonel second General Admiral of the grand Air Navy.

Yeah, of course. And then he probably was wearing some medal. Private Jimmy medal. [Laughter]

Ah Jimmy, you've been done again! Keep track of your fucking medals, Jimmy! I know you're only a private but jesus christ.

Yeah. So they had tea together, and Doreen accepted Neville's invitation to have dinner at his hotel. Yes, he did book a table at his hotel for him and a guest. They were seen walking together towards the Norfolk Hotel after dinner, where Doreen was staying. The hotel manager at the Norfolk Hotel had gotten concerned, as he hadn't seen Doreen for two days after this dinner and contacted the other hotel as he knew that that's where Doreen went for dinner when she had been last seen. Which was also crazy, but I guess in the 1940s you knew that kind of shit.

In the 40s, the grand hotels that were available were more like a BnB in today's time. So they were a lot more intimate, and you had a chat and stuff with the manager, or the receptionist, or whatever. Rather than the budget hotels where they're like: "name? Room 201", and that's all you ever speak to anyone about.

But it's very lucky. And also very good of the hotel manager to even like, follow up on that.

Well, depends on if she paid for her room in advance.

Yeah, probably.

That was meant to be a callous cold comment that you were supposed to laugh at, not agree with.

Oh! I have no faith in humanity, soz. So the manager at the Tollard Royal Hotel in turn contacted Neville to ask if Doreen had been the guest he had dined with that night. Because again, he booked the table at the restaurant with his name and a guest... Or, not his name. The poet's name. Neville denied this, and claimed to have been dining with some other dame. But in his utter and complete big-headedness, he agreed to go to the police station to clear things up. He was not asked to go to the police station by anyone, he was like: "I'm gonna go there and, you know, sort things out". Which is...

Admirable.

The audacity, again, is utter mind-boggling. He contacted the police station by himself. At the police station he introduced himself as Rupert Brook, and one of the police officers thought that he looked a lot like the Neville Heath that had his photo circulated by the Scotland Yard because of his connection with the murder of Margery Gardner. Doreen's father and brother had traveled down to Bournemouth, and met Neville at the police station by chance. "By chance!", and was introduced to them. And again, this officer that recognized him from his photo, quite astute. I'm glad somebody looked at the photo that was circulating.

I mean, I've seen a picture of Neville and 1) I do not understand the charm behind him, and how he was repeatedly described as a handsome man. Because he's not, he's an unattractive man. Secondly, he has quite a distinct face. He doesn't look like he could dissolve into a crowd, like, he's got quite distinctive features. So if there's a picture circulating through all of the police departments from Scotland Yard, I'm not surprised at least one police officer was like: "you look suspiciously fugly. I recognize your face".

That's true, and it's also funny that you mentioned that he was described as handsome because on wikipedia, the photo they chose there, I can kind of get it. I'm like: "yeah, he looks alright". And then on the photo on the other websites...

When he's in the car smoking his pipe? Have you seen that one?

No.

That is not a good look.

No. And in the other photos he looks not at all handsome, I don't know.

He looks... Okay, you carry on. I'm gonna google a picture and send it to you, of what he reminds me of.

And the photo will be up on the website, if it's not a celebrity because then probably not. Yeah. So Neville asked to get his jacket from the hotel and detective inspector George Gates went to the hotel to fetch it, as he was suspicious about Neville, probably because he looked like the photo of Neville Heath. In the jacket they found a pearl from Doreen's necklace, as well as her return train ticket. They also found a cloakroom ticket, and went to the train station to check what else Neville might have stored. And there they hit the proverbial jackpot in a suitcase with bloodstained items, the blood coming from Margery, and items with tags clearly spelling out the name Heath. They also recovered from this suitcase a riding crop with the same cross weave as the one used on Margery. And this is where I have the question for you, because they said that the bloodstained items could be linked to Margery, how did they link that in the 1940s?

So they would have detected what blood type the blood spatter was, whether it was A, O, A positive, AB, whatever all of the options are, and then would have compared that to Margery's blood type. Before DNA fingerprinting came in, which was Colin Pitchfork which we've already discussed way, way back, blood typing was the only way to get a match as it were. So it's not really a match because obviously it could be anyone of the same blood type. But given the extenuating circumstances, which was also the riding crop, it proved enough in the 40s to lead to the conviction.

Yeah. I don't know why I was surprised.

It's really, really simple to determine blood type. You can do it at home with the right kit.

Yeah. And I also realized that obviously during the war, they obviously knew what blood types the soldiers were and could do blood transfusions and shit. I didn't even remember that. I don't know, it just seems so far back but it wasn't.

It was 80 years ago now. But I think because science moves so quickly in our generation, it can sometimes be hard to track back to what stage they were at in history. Because really, that kind of thing... And fingerprinting, and DNA fingerprinting, and genome sequencing has only really come through in the last 20-30 years. So when you go all the way back to 80, their science seems quite primitive but it could have been cutting edge at the time.

Yeah. And also, I'm guessing... This might be a yucky question, but I'm guessing the cross...

I've got a degree in forensic science, I think any yucky question is probably gonna be fine.

I'm guessing that the crossweave could be traced to the riding crop because of the lacerations? Like, they could see the crossweave pattern?

Yeah. So an easier to imagine example of a boot print in mud. The tread will match the imprint in the mud and that's basically what they would have done with the riding crop, is match the pattern and the size. Because it's not a nine tails, if you know what that is?

Yeah.

Yeah. So you wouldn't have had multiple threads like, cross contaminating I think is probably the best way to describe it. So if you strike with the nine tails, some of those tails could overlap and then wipe out the pattern. But because with a riding crop each strike has to be individual, unless he's hitting over the same place, which he wasn't because they counted 17 hits. It would have been manageable to cross-reference the pattern that was left on Margery with the riding crop, which is why the coroner was so sure: "if you find the crop, you find the culprit".

Yeah, yeah. So Neville's gig was up, and he was taken to London to stand trial for the murder of Margery Gardner. The police in Bournemouth realized that Doreen Marshall had likely been murdered by the same man, because he was at the police station talking to them about Doreen Marshall. The day after, Doreen's badly mutilated body was found by a woman walking her dog. And that is like, she found a suspicious swarm of flies by a rhododendron bush, and then she went home and fetched her dad and was like: "okay, there might be a body or something here. We should check it out". Which, I would say, that woman - very astute.

Well, a lot of murder victims are found by dog walkers.

Yeah, yeah. But also, in the 1940s, she was like: "a swarm of flies!? Could be something suspicious!".

"A swarm of flies, in the middle of summer, unheard of! Papa! Papa! One has found something suspicious!".

"You must come down to the rhododendron!".

"Gather my girdle and meet me at the rhododendrons!".

Yeah. Okay, so on a very awful note, you had some things about the body.

Yes. So like you said, they found Doreen in the rhododendrons. She had clear defense wounds on her hands, so she was conscious and fighting when she was abducted. Again, the clothing was removed, much like they found Margery. And the body showed that there was a clear blow to the head. Her wrists and ankles were bound, so the same MO as Margery again, and one of her nipples was bitten off. So he went a bit further than he went with Margery.

Escalating behavior, yeah.

Yeah. And again, an instrument, which one source said was a tree branch but unconfirmed by other sources, had been inserted into her vagina and anus. The cause of death this time was two slashes, or cuts, to her throat. So if he severed her carotid then hopefully she'd have died quite quickly and painlessly. So a different method of murder, but similar enough between Margery and Doreen for the police to be comfortable I'd say, rather than confident, that it was probably the same person.

Yeah. I have a question, did they find the knife?

Not as far as I'm aware.

Okay, okay. So I read that one of the reasons for why he was convicted of murder and not like, deemed insane and stuff, was that they said that they could prove that he had pre-planned it. Because apparently, and this might not be true, but apparently he had taken his clothes off before murdering her and then washed off his hands and stuff in the sea, and then put his clothes back on. Did you read about that?

I didn't read anything about that, but there is a a level of premeditation in the fact that he had a knife in Doreen's murder.

Yeah, that's true, yeah. I think her stuff was also found like a beach hut or something, or some of her stuff, I don't remember the exact...

I think it's interesting that there was probably more evidence to use in the case of him being sane and pre-meditating for Doreen's murder, and yet that wasn't the one he was tried for.

Yeah, yeah. That's true. Because I also read that, that he was actually hanged for Margery's murder.

Yeah. He was only tried for Margery's murder, so Doreen's murder didn't even make it to the court.

Oh. Because it happened too quickly? He was shipped off to London after they found the things, like the riding crop and stuff.

Yeah, quite possibly. The whole court proceeding was very quick, it only took the jury an hour to come to the conclusion that he was guilty. So yeah, it was probably that enough evidence was available to prosecute him for Margery that they didn't even stall it long enough to convict for Doreen as well.

Yeah.

Which is a bit sad really, for her family. But I guess if they were confident that it was him then he's gone now, so.

Yeah, that's true. I think that I also read that he said, he claimed... Because he did confess to Margery's murder, and said that he blacked out drunk and then woke up and had murdered her. I'm like: "100 percent not". That kind of abuse and assault doesn't happen if somebody's so drunk they can't remember, or stand up. Like it's...

Yeah. And that was that was exactly how it was counted in court as well, they just said: "that's complete nonsense". The amount of premeditation and planning, and forethought and awareness, to inflict this amount of damage to two bodies, or even one body at the time because they were only looking at Margery, there's no way that anybody could do this if they were blackout drunk. I think he was hoping that maybe eyewitnesses would corroborate that he was drunk, because eyewitnesses did come forward and say that Margery and Neville were well into their cups and was staggering back to the hotel. But I think the prosecution lawyers did a good enough job to convince the jury that just the sheer amount of malice that was inflicted on her body couldn't have been done by someone who wasn't in control of their faculties.

No. Definitely impossible. He could have also like, as you said, faked it to maybe lure Margery in and maybe get eyewitnesses to say that he was drunk. But yeah, I think he's full of shit.

Well, not anymore. He dead.

He dead. Yeah. So Neville Heath was found guilty, and was not deemed insane as the defense argued, as we said. The doctors, like the psychologist that had interviewed him in prison, found him to be a psychopath and a sexual sadist but not insane. Or like, in any kind of psychotic episode.

I don't know if you read this, but he managed to get a... Either psychiatrist or psychologist, I can't remember, to vouch for him in court and that was where the plead of insanity came from. He was like: "yeah, we can do that, no problem", and then all of the evidence that this expert shall we call him, provided was thrown out because they found he was a heroin addict.

What!? The doctor, or the psychiatrist?

The psychologist or the psychiatrist went to court and obviously defended Neville, to whatever extent a supposedly impartial expert witness could defend, and they were like: "oh yeah, that's interesting. Oh, that might be true. Hold on a minute, this guy's high off his tits".

Really!?

And then they got the two psychologists that evaluated Neville in prison, and they both offered contradictory: "no, this guy is completely sane. He knew exactly what he was doing, he's a complete psychopath". And that sort of swayed the jury's decision to go the other way.

When he was impersonating an aristocrat in South Africa he did get married and had a child. I feel very bad for that child. I didn't include their names, because I feel like that child might still be alive...

Because they haven't got a daddy? Or because 50% of their genes is a psychopath?

Because fifty percent of their genes is a psychopath. [Laughter] I know that's not how genes work, but I still feel...

That's exactly how genes work, that child is gonna grow up half a psychopath. You better hope his mother was a saint. [Laughter]

That was sarcasm.

No it wasn't.

Well psychopathy, they can't prove that that's...

It's genetic. I've tracked the gene myself, it's genetic.

No.

It's the PSY 1 gene.

No. Are you...

No. I'm bullshitting, obviously.

I was like: "what the fuck is this, and how haven't I heard about this". [Laughter]

Did you not hear the part where I said: "I've sequenced the gene myself"? You know, with all the genome sequencing kit that I've got in my bathroom. [Laughter]

I had a full on, like....

Questioning everything you thought was true. "Do stars really stay where they are in the daytime?!".

I was like: "what is this?!". That's funny. Yeah. He was sentenced to hang, as we said, and was executed on the 16th of October 1946. The 20-furth.

The 20-furth. Not again.

Yeah. That's our case! Bam, whacked it out. We did good, time wise.

Done and done.

What are you gonna do now? Sleep, no?

Try and sleep, because I've gotta get up at disgusting o'clock tomorrow.

Oh. That's true, yeah. I'm gonna probably watch a bit of Iron Man. I'm watching...

Iron Man? Not Iron Man. [Laughter]

He does a smashing job with the shirts.

Tally-ho, what what. Let me just light up my pipe.

Oh. It was funny, Susanne said that in the beginning... Because everything...

In the beginning, there was only God. Then God said: "let there be light!", and lo, there was light. Genesis, chapter one. [Laughter]

She has all the answers, that girl.

Is Genesis even the first book in the Bible?

Yeah.

Yes!

Do you want to know how many stories of the earth creation there are in Genesis? More than one.

Whaaaat?

Yeah, true. So Susanne said that she... Because all studies at uni in Sweden are done remote, she started off going to her seminars with...

No clothes on.

"In the beginning there was only flesh". [Laughter] She started going with a shirt on, and like a sweater over it because it's winter in Sweden so very cold, and then pajama bottoms obviously. Because, you know. Now she's just in her pajamas. I thought that was excellent.

Sounds like the best way to study.

Oh ja, oh ja. I've given up on clothes.

I was going to say: "I don't remember the last time I wore trousers", but I do, it was Wednesday when I had to visit a customer. Otherwise, sweatpants.

Sweatpants. Joggers, as you say here.

Yes.

Ja.

Yes.

I'm in my sweater, I'm wearing joggers. I don't even remember what a bra is. Boob prison, that's what it is. Burn the bra.

Boob prison.

I think that's the best meme of 2020, it's like: "free the titty, protect the city", and there's like a cross over the bra and a mask.

Okay. I'm gonna have a great time with Iron Man. [Sings Iron Man, by Black Sabbath] I should be a recording artist, I know.

I'd buy that tune.

Yeah. I made it up all by myself.

I'm not sure you did.

Even you know that much about pop culture. [Laughter] Can't bamboozle you. I'm just gonna call myself a famous poet name, and then you're going to think that I'm an accomplished writer.

As long as you take one of the letters out, I'd have no reason to suspect you.

No, that's true. Okay. Thank you so much for listening to Midweek Murders, we'll see you next week. Bye bye! Do you want to say bye, or are you just going to be obstinate?

That one.

Fuck you, Jimmy! Your medal is mine.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

A Lieutenant-Colonel.

Left-tenant.

Left-tenant. Right, right. Tally-ho, what what. Bye-bye.

[Music]

Topics

• Neville Heath
• Doreen Marshall
• Margery Gardner
• con man
• court martial
• criminals executed in the UK
• Death penalty in the UK
• Royal Air Force
• blood type evidence
• The lady killer
• stupid murderers
• premeditation
• Psychopath murderers
• Escalating criminal behavior
• Scotland Yard